Dating Advice for Men: The Importance of Integrity in Dating Relationships

There is no shortage of content on social media about dating and relationships. Every other YouTube Short, TikTok or Instagram story, or post on X has something seemingly definitive to say about romantic relationships between men and women. The sheer volume of content and the confidence of the content creators can be more confusing than helpful when trying to navigate dating.

The thing about dating is that there isn’t a consensus or agreed-upon set of rules that everyone is trying to follow. It really is something of the wild west in the dating world, and each person is pursuing their own goals and trying to secure their own piece of happiness. The situation is rife with selfishness, and it’s hard to be vulnerable and honest because you could be taken advantage of by someone with less scruples than you.

As you wade out into the dating pool, you need to ask yourself who you are, and what you want from your relationships. The fact is, your resolve is going to be tested, whether through disappointments, betrayals, mind games, or setbacks. In the end, dating can really be a test of faith; it can challenge what you believe about humanity, and it will require you to look beyond your circumstances to a deeper goal.

What Integrity in Dating Might Look Like

When you’re out there trying to date people, you have a variety of choices about how you’ll do that. Not only can you try to meet people online or through dating apps, but you can also meet people in person and build connections that way. Beyond how you meet people, there is the question of how you put yourself out there, and how you present yourself to others.

You could choose, for instance, to lie about yourself to be more attractive to others. This ranges from outright untruths about your interests, achievements, past, and personality, to shading the truth and concealing realities about yourself.

This could be done by using a filter on your photos or using an old photo where you looked your best, or it could mean using a photo with you posed next to a friend’s Lamborghini, creating the impression it’s yours.

Other ways of putting yourself out there include going all out on the first date and doing the most so that you secure a second and third date. This could mean wearing clothes that aren’t yours to boost your chances or blowing up your budget to go places that aren’t your usual haunts.

All this is common when dating – people play a part, masking parts of themselves and highlighting other things to give themselves the best chance at finding love.

Integrity is about being honest with others and yourself about who you are, despite the push or pull of your circumstances to act otherwise. When you operate out of integrity, you commit yourself to being truthful and to live without hypocrisy. This doesn’t mean that you’re a perfect person, but it does mean that you are sincere and willing to own up to your flaws.

In dating, integrity might mean putting what your real interests are on your dating profile and taking a girl to the places you typically eat, as opposed to what might impress her. Putting integrity front and center in dating means being vulnerable enough to share what you truly feel and think about a variety of subjects, and not simply taking the path of least resistance by being overly agreeable.

The Importance of Integrity in Dating

There are many ways for a person to create a false or misleading impression about themselves, and many reasons for it. Some would say it’s part of the dating game, that no one is entirely honest about who they are, and this is the way to make the best first impression.

The importance of integrity in dating comes through in several ways, which include the following:

• Mismatched expectations and disappointment One frustrating aspect of dating is when two people aren’t upfront about what they want from the relationship. Mismatched expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration with one another and the dating process itself. If you lie about who you are, the truth coming out can cause significant hurt.
• Vulnerability and connection If you approach dating with integrity, it creates room for vulnerability and genuine connection. You’re not hiding behind a façade or creating a false impression that will crumble under closer inspection. Any connection you make is more likely to be real if you’ve been honest about who you are from the beginning.
• Peace of mind It can be exhausting playing the mind games that often come with modern dating. Playing it straight and with integrity allows you to have peace of mind. When you know yourself and your limits, you can protect yourself and assert your boundaries where necessary.

Approaching dating with integrity isn’t necessarily easy. You need wisdom to know how to be appropriately vulnerable with someone you just met so you don’t expose yourself to unnecessary hurt.

Dating with integrity will also require you to be confident about who you are, and that you have intrinsic value that can’t be diminished by another person.

Dating has its fair share of challenges, and you can find help to navigate these with a counselor. Individual counseling can help you develop your communication skills, nurture your self-confidence, and cultivate your emotional resilience. You can learn to accept yourself and appreciate your worth.

Reach out to our office to schedule an appointment with a counselor who can help you process your dating journey.