Christian Couples Counseling

Couples counseling refers to therapy that is provided either for an unmarried couple that is in a committed relationship or to a married couple that has been together for any length of time. Relationships can be compared to fine, intricate machinery like the complications on a luxury watch. When it works, it works well, but sometimes the smallest things can cause discord in the relationship. If it is not dealt with promptly, a small misunderstanding can balloon into a huge problem. Couples counseling creates a safe space and provides the tools to help a couple to address the “small stuff” as well as significant issues that may have plagued a couple for a long time.

One large obstacle for couples is maintaining effective communication. Because we lead lives that are busier than ever, maintaining a meaningful connection with your partner is harder than ever, and a couple can lose track of each other in the shuffle. Apart from facing a time crunch, another significant obstacle is that most of us are not the most effective communicators. We may think that we listen and speak well, but we typically are not as skilled as we think at the give-and-take that happens in effective communication. Effective communication requires listening with empathy in such a way that one truly hears the concerns and needs of their partner. In addition to that, genuine empathetic listening leaves their partner feeling heard.

It is a challenging task to perform well but recognizing that our listening skills are not as polished as they could be is a good starting point. Foibles such as interrupting the other person while they are talking, not asking probing or clarifying questions, having our attention divided between the person we are listening to and our phones, and a lack of non-verbal cues that confirm that we are listening all stand in the way of effective communication. Added to that is the fact that sometimes we speak out of frustration, do not know how to express our emotions well, or do not clearly express our needs, while we expect our partner to guess at those needs and meet them.

Among other things, couples counseling can help a couple to develop their communication skills so that they are on the same page about their needs, responsibilities, dreams, and goals.

Many issues can dampen a couple’s spark, impede their emotional and physical intimacy, break down communication and cause conflict in the relationship. These issues include:

• affairs and infidelity
• navigating life together after the birth of a child
• harmful behaviors such as addiction or substance abuse
• a mental health condition that can negatively affect your marriage such as post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, an eating disorder, or anxiety
• poor communication
• anger issues
• a lack of emotional and sexual intimacy
• infertility or struggles with conceiving
• a lack of meaningful boundaries
• experiencing grief, loss, or trauma
• dealing with job loss or transitioning into retirement
• money problems and arguments over finances
• dealing with in-laws and other relatives

In couples counseling, the couple will meet with their therapist for several weekly sessions of about an hour or so. The number of sessions will depend on the matter the couple is dealing with. This is individual couples counseling.

Another way to receive couples counseling is in a group setting, where the couple, along with 3-4 other couples, will be led by their therapist to explore issues and questions together. There are benefits to doing couples counseling in either setting – it just depends on what you find more comfortable and what will work best for you and your partner.

In a group couples counseling setting, hearing from the experiences and challenges of other couples may help to normalize what you have gone through, as well as give you a sounding board and space for accountability. The more obvious benefit of individual counseling is having the exclusive attention of your therapist as well as not needing to share your private struggles with other couples.

As they address your concerns, your counselor may have you do “homework” in the form of exercises you and your partner can do together at home, and at your next session, they may ask you for feedback. Some of these exercises may be for developing physical and emotional intimacy, growing your skills in communication, getting to know one another better, building trust and teamwork, creating space to engage, learning how to deal with conflict, and more.

It is important before embarking on a journey such as couples counseling, it is important to gain confidence in the process. After all, if couples counseling is not effective, then investing yourselves in it as a couple would be counterproductive. The great news is that couples counseling is highly effective.

First, we can become trapped in cycles and patterns of behavior in our relationships, and we do not see our situation clearly or the role we may be playing in its dysfunction. One of the benefits of couples counseling is that you are spending time with an experienced and skilled counselor who views your relationship from an objective standpoint and can offer insights to put your relationship on the path toward flourishing.

Second, by using widely applied techniques such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, which works well with partners dealing with depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and infidelity in the marriage, couples therapy has seen success rates of 65% -75%. Thus, even in challenging circumstances, couples counseling can be effective. For couples counseling to have the best chance at success, the couple must come ready to address any part they have played individually in the situation and be willing to do the necessary work to bring change in the relationship.

Finding help with Christian couples counseling

Couples counseling unearths existing dynamics and seeks to establish new, healthy patterns of thought and behavior that will strengthen and benefit the relationship. God has created us as relational beings, and one of the ways we can begin understanding how relationships can go wrong and what healthy relationship patterns look like is to look at God’s intention for relationships.

Christian couples counseling offers you and your partner practical, faith-based solutions that will help you overcome challenges you face together to form a healthy, lasting, Christ-centered relationship.As a collective of trained and licensed Christian counselors, our couples counselors will work with you to strengthen your faith as well as your relationship. By making use of both evidenced-based counseling methods and Christian resources such as Scripture and prayer, our counselors can equip you and your partner to begin the healing process for your relationship and grow in your ability to face challenges together.

Your journey towards healing your relationship can begin today. To learn more about Christian couples counseling, or to schedule your risk-free initial session, feel free to browse our counselor directory or contact the reception for an appointment.