Counseling for Children

Counseling for children is similar to counseling for adults; it is a safe space where the concerns and needs of your child are met by a trained and licensed mental health professional. Counselors for children use evidence-based therapeutic techniques such as:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps a child to reshape the way they think to develop helpful, healthy, and appropriate ways to view themselves and any struggles or situations they are facing
• Talk therapy, which creates a safe space for your child to express their feelings and be listened to with empathy. This is one of the main treatment options for issues such as Separation Anxiety Disorder.
• Play therapy, which is a therapeutic use of play to get a child to talk about and work through their feelings, struggles, and experiences

Your child will meet with their therapist for an hour or so over several weeks. Using one or more of the above techniques, they will work through whatever concerns you have about your child. In some situations, in addition to talking through your child’s concerns and giving them the tools they need to deal with their situation, they may also require medication. Some situations, such as Severe Separation Anxiety Disorder or depression, may call for medication to be administered along with therapy. In consultation with you, your therapist will draw up a treatment plan that works for your child and your family.

One of the biggest challenges for a parent or caregiver is knowing when to make use of counseling for their child. On the one hand, the parent or caregiver may want to take their child for counseling is either needlessly escalating an issue or an admission of failure on their part. Parents want to feel like they have everything they need to nurture and support their child, and so they hesitate to make use of counseling because they fear what it may imply about them as parents/caregivers. Additionally, counseling may seem like a drastic step to take or both parents may not agree about what constitutes an issue, so they may hesitate to make use of the available resources.

On the other hand, a parent or caregiver may not be aware of when an issue is an issue, because while there are patterns of expected behavior in children, each child is unique, and they don’t always conform to the behavior of the “average child.” Is this a case of the terrible two’s going on for a bit longer than expected, or is this a genuine issue that requires intervention? Is my child merely a bit withdrawn?Do they just have a very hyper personality?Or should I be concerned that something more serious is going on? Is the separation anxiety my child is experiencing a normal reaction to the divorce or is there more happening beneath the surface? Is this temper tantrum just a temper tantrum, or is it a sign of anger issues? Are they just feeling sad, or might they be depressed? These and other questions often arise in a parent or caregiver’s mind, and the uncertainty and confusion it generates can cause anxiety.

Making use of counseling for your child is not a sign of failure, nor is it an unnecessary escalation in dealing with a problem. Some issues are beyond one’s expertise or understanding and deferring to a trained professional to make use of their knowledge and skills is the best thing you can do for your child. Additionally, in some cases, getting assistance earlier can help one avoid issues becoming unmanageable down the road. Getting treatment can be expensive, and you do not want to receive unnecessary treatment, so keeping an eye out for some of these signs can help you discern when to make use of counseling. To help you in discerning when it may be time to take your child for counseling, here are a few pointers:

Behavioral problems. If your child struggles with their temper, is argumentative and defensive more than usual, or is defiant over even the smallest things, it may be a cue to seek counseling, especially if the behavior persists. Sometimes, kids act out because something is happening in their life such as a change in schools, the arrival of a new sibling, or their parents going through a divorce. Their behavioral problems at home or school may be sparked by these realities, and they are often a cry for help. If the behaviors persist or disrupt your child’s functioning and the well-being of the family, consider taking them for counseling.

Talking about or enacting self-harm. If your child talks about harming themselves, or you find that they have already harmed themselves, that is a red flag, and you should seek help as soon as possible. Self-harm is a dangerous and unhealthy way to deal with a possible mental health issue. In younger children, self-harm may present as hitting themselves on the head, digging their nails into their skin, or banging their heads against a wall. If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm, take them seriously and find help for them.

Becoming isolated and withdrawn. If your child becomes socially isolated and avoids social situations, it may be a cause for concern particularly if that’s not typical for them. Your child may have sad days when they would want to be alone, but if that persists for longer than two weeks or if it is not their usual behavior, take it seriously.

Regressive behavior. When your child regresses for no apparent reason, pay attention to that. Sometimes, significant changes such as the birth of a sibling or parental divorce can cause a child to engage in regressive behaviors such as bed wetting, separation anxiety, and using baby talk. Where these happen without much apparent reason, it may warrant a visit to a professional.

Loss of interest in hobbies, feeling sad or anxious. If your child suddenly loses interest in the things that give them joy, or you find that they are feeling sad and anxious, and these “symptoms” last longer than two weeks and are without an apparent cause, consider scheduling a checkup with their doctor.

A shift in eating or sleeping habits. If your child experiences a shift in what they eat or their sleep patterns, whether it is a drastic reduction or increase, it may be a sign of emotional stressors at work. These changes may be linked to a specific event, but if they last longer than two weeks, consider making an appointment with your doctor to make an evaluation and further recommendations.

Sometimes, taking your child for counseling can be helpful simply for your peace of mind, to reassure you that everything is fine. If you feel that something may be amiss, actively tracking your child’s behavior and making use of counseling for your child is the best thing you can do. Each child is unique, and your gut instinct about your child’s wellbeing should not be ignored or minimized. If you and your partner agree to wait to see if the problem persists before you seek help, be clear about how long you will wait and at what point you will pursue assistance.

Counseling for children addresses a wide range of issues such as emotional issues, behavioral issues, and mental health concerns. Some of the matters that counseling for children addresses include:

• Eating disorders
• Anger issues
• Attention DeficitHyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Childhood depression
• Anxiety and anxiety disorders such as Separation Anxiety Disorder
• Grief and loss
• Bullying
• Abandonment and neglect
• Trauma
• Blended family issues
• Discipline problems at home or school
• Foster care and adoption concerns
• Family problems such as divorce or sibling issues
• Academic issues, such as learning development issues

Christian counseling for children

In any counseling situation, you need to be comfortable with your counselor to get the most out of it. If you and your family are people of faith, you can choose to work with a Christian counselor so that your child’s treatment plan lines up with your beliefs. A Christian counselor will provide the quality care your child needs while making use of Christian resources such as Scripture and prayer, along with the evidence-based techniques named earlier.

With the help of a professional counselor, your child will get the space, support, and tools that they need to talk through their feelings, work through any troubling changes they’re experiencing, and develop helpful coping skills and strategies to work through their challenges, anxieties, and fears. Taking that first step and asking for help may be the best thing you do for the well-being and flourishing of your child, so don’t hesitate to reach out to us to find out more about Christian counseling for children or browse our counselor directory to make an appointment with a counselor for your child.