The Overlaps Between Adolescence and Anxiety in Teens

In the last ten years, the recorded rates of anxiety in teens have risen considerably, showing that up to 60% of teenagers currently experience some form of anxiety. From a parent’s perspective, it can be hard to know whether your teen is struggling with anxiety or whether they are having an ordinary adolescent experience. Both are difficult experiences, but mishandling or ignoring anxiety struggles can have detrimental effects on their mental health.

Parents of teens often have to find the balance between giving their children enough space and privacy to develop, while also being available and showing that they are invested in their lives. It is easy to look at your moody, irritable, standoffish teen and think they are simply being hormonal. You can completely miss the fact that they are overwhelmed by something and not coping well.

The Sullen Era

As a parent, it’s easy to forget how difficult it was to be a teenager at times. For all the carefree, euphoric experiences adolescence brings, it is also a period of rapid changes, hormones gone haywire, social pressures, burgeoning romantic interests, and the constant demands made by peer groups, families, and school commitments.

As a teen, you’re expected to be more mature than you feel as you battle intense emotional dysregulation caused by a brain and body that is still in development. Suffice to say, it’s an intense decade made worse by the people around you, many of whom are trying to help. It’s only natural for many teens to pull away, put up walls, and retreat into themselves as they try to navigate the confusing path they find themselves on.

Although it’s a common experience, when a teen withdraws and becomes isolated even in a group, it often shows that they are in a flight or freeze mode. When they snap at you and become triggered by innocuous things, it could be an involuntary fight response welling up from inside of them.

Most teens are constantly moving in and out of survival mode throughout the day. They are having to adapt to change, cope with pressures, and maintain the illusion of being unaffected. This is a regular adolescent experience, but it is also a common way of coping with anxiety.

Anxiety In Teens

Anxiety is always difficult to deal with, regardless of your age. However, anxiety in teens happens within the complex context of adolescence. This means it can be more intense, more dramatic, and potentially more impactful. Many ordinary teen behaviors look a lot like the behavior a person would exhibit when they are deeply affected by anxiety.

For example, you might have noticed that your teen has been struggling with their sleep routine. They might stay awake late every night, and spend the entire following day too tired to function properly. In between tasks and responsibilities, they spend much of their time trying to catch up on sleep.

Poor sleep hygiene is classic teen behavior, but it is also a struggle for someone with high levels of anxiety. This makes it hard to notice when your teen is struggling with anxiety, because they are not acting unusually.

If you have noticed your teen being quieter than usual, you might think nothing of it. After all, teenagers crave space and need to learn how to cope with the various pressures they will have to face as adults. However, they may feel so overwhelmed with their fears and pressures that they have become stuck, unable to express or regulate their emotions. Many teens would rather present an image of being collected and stoic than visibly afraid or worried.

It is not unusual for teenagers to be snappy, grumpy, and triggered by things. They are also frequently melodramatic and tend to blow things out of proportion. These common teen attitudes and tendencies are sometimes because of the hormones and chemicals in their nervous system, and can be helped by intentional parenting with clear boundaries.

However, when teens are more irritable or dramatic than usual, it could mean that they are overwhelmed and on edge with anxiety. Many teens do not want to cause drama and conflict. They simply don’t know how to deal with their fears.

Finally, many teens tend to withdraw and retreat behind walls of silence. However, retreat and avoidance are instinctive ways of dealing with anxiety. Before you dismiss their common behaviors, consider that they might be struggling with enormous amounts of anxiety that they cannot adjust to or vocalize.

How To Help Anxiety in Teens

If you are trying to determine if or how to intervene with your teen, there is one important thing to consider. Adolescence is a stressful time in general, and teens may struggle to cope with life, but a major consideration is how their behavior impacts daily living.

For example, it might be perfectly acceptable to stay up until the early hours playing video games; however, if their friendships are falling apart and their grades are slipping, this is not normal teen behavior and needs to be addressed. Similarly, if they have isolated themselves and withdrawn from the activities they used to like, that is a sign that they are unwell and need you to step in and help.

No teen wants to be lectured or confronted in a way that makes them feel more anxious. The best approach to take is one of curiosity. It might help if you told them that you noticed their behavioral changes and are wondering if they are struggling with something. Before offering advice, it’s important to prove to them how much you care and that you won’t add to their burdens. From there, there are three things you can do to help with anxiety in teens.

Let them select a breathing exercise to do with you

One of the most effective techniques for dealing with anxiety, fear, or panic is by doing regulated breathing techniques. Several different breathing patterns help, and you will need to do some research before teaching them to your teen. Once they have learned each one, ask them to pick their favorite and make a habit of performing these exercises together with them regularly, or whenever they are overwhelmed.

It’s a good idea to explain the reason for doing the breathing exercises with your teen, so it doesn’t feel like a random thing to be doing. Regulated breathing brings oxygen to the brain and disables the fight-or-flight response that perpetuates the anxiety.

Do some positive visualization with them

When they’re feeling anxious, help them visualize a better reality, a positive outcome, or an alternative ending to their situation. Have them imagine the best-case scenarios playing out, and explore how they would feel in those situations.

The brain can’t distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. That is often how people get into deep states of anxiety in the first place. They visualize the worst events, which worsens the anxiety. Positive visualization takes this tendency in the opposite direction, inviting them to feel more hopeful and less afraid.

Do it anyway

Sometimes we need to hear that it is possible to continue, regardless of how we feel. Anxiety triggers our survival mode, which can cripple us. However, the best way to conquer a threat is to go toward it.

Tell your teen that it is natural to feel anxiety. We want to withdraw when we feel it, but that often makes the situation worse. They need to hear that they can feel anxious, afraid, and even terrified, but that they can show up and do what needs to be done regardless.

It’s not easy being a parent, let alone when you are dealing with anxiety in teens. If you need extra support, a counselor can help. Browse the online catalog or speak with the reception team to find a counselor who can support you as you parent your teen. You are not alone.