Scriptures to Help You Cope with the Loss of a Parent

It’s the nature of things that those who come before us and precede us in the things of life typically also precede us in death. While it’s typical, and in many ways is expected, that doesn’t mean the loss of a parent is easy, or that one can simply take it in stride. Losing a parent stirs up different emotions, memories, fears, and expectations. Dealing with these as you grieve can be difficult, which is why Scripture can be a valuable support in that journey of grief.

How grief for a parent can get complicated

When someone close to you dies, a significant change has entered your life. If you were not only related by blood, but your relationship was one of healthy intimacy and deep affection, that means the loss of an important source of support, among other things. Your daily routines may be affected, as will important occasions such as the holidays, birthdays, and other moments that you shared.

There are other ways in which the loss of a parent can affect a person, and much of that is tied to the type of relationship one had with their parent. If the relationship was cold and distant, or if you never saw eye to eye with your parent, or if you never knew your parent because you were separated for one reason or another, the death of your parent can stir a range of emotions such as anger, guilt, resentment, as well as regret.

Also, grief over a parent can be complicated if they were sick for a while before they died. You may have started grieving them before they died, which is called anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is a way to try and come to terms with an impending loss, and it differs from conventional grief because it looks ahead to a coming loss and its implications, while conventional grief looks back to reflect on a loss that has occurred as one tries to come to terms with it.

Despite these complications that can occur when one loses one’s parent, grief is still a process that a person will go through. The shape of that process will differ for each individual, but grief is necessary to deal with the loss in a healthy way.

Shoving down your emotions or trying to avoid your feelings is not a good move. Grief finds a way to manifest in your life, and it can do so in unpleasant ways if you’re not careful. For instance, one can be irritable and blow up at their loved ones because of unresolved anger from the loss.

It is important to recognize grief and to allow yourself to go through the experience of grief. The five stages of grief, initially developed by Elizabeth Kübler Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may not experience all the stages or experience them in that order, but knowing what grief looks like can help you process it as such.

Finding support from the Scriptures about loss

Experiences of life and death are deeply human experiences. While each person grieves in their own way, the experiences of others aren’t entirely foreign to us, nor are ours so foreign to them that it’s impossible to communicate them adequately.

If this was the case, grief support groups wouldn’t function. When we turn to the Scriptures, we can expect to find human experiences of grief there, and while they may be different from our own, there are enough similarities there for us to glean meaningful support and encouragement.

Many Scriptures address loss and that can be helpful for you as you mourn the loss of your parent. Some of them are as follows:

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, NIV

While a believer may grieve the loss of another believer, that grief is a grief marked by hope. That hope is rooted in who Jesus Christ is, and how He has opened a way into eternal life on a renewed heaven and earth.

If your parent was a believer in Jesus, you can grieve them knowing that you will be reunited with them; death is described here as having “fallen asleep”. The idea is to convey that in light of God’s awesome power, being raised from the dead is like being roused from a night’s sleep.

One can have hope because death doesn’t have power anymore. God through Jesus Christ has rendered death as harmless as sleep, and so we don’t have to fear it or be overwhelmed by it.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit – salm 34:18, NIV

Do you believe that the Lord is on your side? In our loss, it can feel true that God is against you, and that He doesn’t care about you. It is good to be reminded that God sees your hurt as you grieve your loss, and not only does He see you, but He is also close to you. God is invested in walking closely with you. When you feel “crushed in spirit” from losing your parent, you can hold onto the hope that the Lord sees and that He is with you.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:25-26, NIV

When we lose what is precious to us, it challenges us to reflect on what our foundations are, and what is holding us together, giving us our sense of purpose and peace. The role that a loving parent plays in your life is that of guiding, shaping, and forming you from when you draw your first breath. Losing a parent, especially an engaged parent whom you love deeply can be the worst grief of your life.

The Psalm reminds us that God is our highest good, and He’s our source. When all else gives way, strength can be found in Him.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:3-4, NIV

It’s possible to get stuck in grief and not see the end of the tunnel as you grope around in the dark. These verses remind us that the story we are in has an end, and even if you can’t see where your current situation is headed, God is in control, and He will not only wipe the tears from your eyes, but He will remove death, and everything connected with it, from His good world.

These assurances can hold you together as grief breaks you apart, and they can be a vital support to challenge unhelpful thoughts that might mire you in one stage of grief or another.

Grieving the loss of a parent with help from a Christian counselor

The loss of a parent can be an incredibly painful experience and one that is difficult to move on from. This is true regardless of the relationship you had with your parent. If you find that you’re feeling stuck in your grief after the loss of a parent, consider talking to a Christian grief counselor who can help you by creating a space for you to process your painful emotions and move forward in a healthy way.