Attachment Styles and Social Media

Shaped from childhood, the way a person connects or reacts in their relationships will reflect in a pattern described as their attachment style. Broadly, people have either a secure or an insecure attachment style. Insecure attachment styles are further differentiated into three more distinct styles. Marked by a range of features, they include fear of abandonment or of getting too close.

Each attachment style comes with its group of triggers, symptoms, and causes. One thing they have in common is how they are affected by social media. Depending on which attachment issue is present, the person will have social media behavior that reflects these issues.

Types of attachment styles

A secure attachment is the goal or marker of healthy relationships. These individuals’ self-esteem is intact, build foundations of trust, and are generally secure in their relationships. They confide in their partner, and celebrate their success, as well.

Meanwhile, those with insecure attachments neither have confidence nor security. A person with an ambivalent or anxious-preoccupied attachment will be needy, possessive, and dependent. Overly anxious and distrustful, their self-esteem is determined by their partner’s response to them. They may fear abandonment or feel unloved.

By contrast, those with avoidant-dismissive attachment styles believe they are self-reliant, do not need others and flee at any sign of intimacy. Distrustful or fearful of emotions, they avoid getting close to others.

Often a result of childhood abuse, those with disorganized attachment are fearful and fraught with confusion. Their relationships may be volatile, unpredictable, and violent, mimicking the abuse of their childhood. Generally, they struggle to believe they are worthy or deserving of love, security, and trust.

Attachment issues and social media

Unsurprisingly, our ways of relating on social media are impacted by our attachment style. It has a powerful influence on who, how, and why we connect or respond to social media.

For those with attachment anxiety, social media becomes a tool for seeking belonging and approval. The ability to accumulate friends and followers is insatiably in their control. This person will probably be driven by likes and shares, assuming this is approval. Contrarily, they may feel insecure or insignificant if their post is neglected or disliked.

On the other hand, those with attachment avoidance can keep relationships at a distance, opting to join groups of strangers or avoid friending people they know. They may be comforted that intimacy is likely impossible with the distance of a screen.

Likewise, someone with a disorganized attachment may find social media relationships are controlled or comfortable because they are beyond arm’s length. A person with this attachment may gaslight or berate others easily or shower them with affection without threat of trust or security. The love they thirst may be sought through likes and comments.

All these attachment issues share a common thread when it comes to social media. No matter the type, the person can present themselves positively with desirable attributes. Without face-to-face interaction, people can become disconnected from society and feel no reassurance of actual love or belonging. This can lead to obsessive use of social media that can interfere with life.

Finding support

Social media can be entertaining and healthy when used properly. However, danger lurks when people seek fulfillment from it. Each person must evaluate the impact of social media on their life.

If you are experiencing negative feelings related to social media use, reach out to us today at California Christian Counseling to schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor from our directory. Engaging in a faith-based treatment plan with a Christian counselor in California can help you heal from an insecure attachment style.