6 Ways to Foster Connection and Wellness for Your Teen

Teens have an array of needs, most of which feel like a mystery. Not only does it feel like a mystery to the teens themselves, but it can feel that way for parents, too. Instead of engaging in a guessing game, you can foster a connection with your teen and promote his or her wellness in simple ways.

6 Ways to Foster Connection with Your Teen

Your teen needs physical touch.

Doling out hugs and snuggles with little kids is a routine part of parenting. As kids get older, however, parents are less likely to do this. Even though it may seem like your teen has grown out of hugs or is too cool to sit close to you, physical touch is important for your teen’s well-being.

“Hugging triggers the release of feel-good hormone, oxytocin that can lower the level of stress hormone and counter its anxiety effects.” (Pamela Li) Your teens need this more now than you would think. Be intentional about offering physical touch with which your teen is comfortable.

Your teen needs sleep and rest.

If you want your teen to connect well and feel good, he or she needs sleep. Many studies have been done about the lack of sleep for teens, but most parents don’t need study results to see how sleep impacts their kids.

Tired kids are less likely to interact, tend to be cranky, and have emotions that spiral out of control quickly. But sleep can be hard to come by, especially with homework, jobs, time with friends, and school. Instead of focusing solely on hours of shut eye, you can encourage rest.

Rest, like sleep, offers a break from the stress of life. Encourage your teen to do things that are restful and relaxing. Taking a long shower, reading a book, listening to music, drawing, journaling, meditating, and praying are good ways for teens to rest from the stress of everyday life.

Your teen needs to express themselves.

Feelings during the teen years can be overwhelming. Hormones, new situations, challenges, and changes are things teens deal with regularly. Add the fact that they are learning how to feel and express themselves, and it’s no wonder things go awry.

Give your teens opportunities to express themselves, even if they do it in a messy way. This doesn’t mean you should tolerate disrespect or emotional abuse from your teen. It does mean you should be willing to listen and teach him or her healthy methods of expression.

Teens need you to listen.

Often, teens try to be heard. They want to know that they matter. They need reassurance that what they say, do, and feel is important. For that to happen, parents need to listen.

This doesn’t mean you need to do whatever they want. It simply means you need to hear them and show respect for how they feel. You need to make time to stop and truly hear what your teen is saying to you. Sometimes this will require patience, but it is worth it.

Your teen needs grace.

Life for teens is full of pressure. From school, expectations, sports, and relationships, teens have a lot that fills their day-to-day life. Sometimes they need their parents to focus on more than the pressures.

Offering your teen grace shows them that you love them, even in the messy, hard things they experience. Even more importantly, demonstrating grace is how you can model God’s love for them.

There are still consequences in life. That should not change. You can, however, operate from a place of grace and love as you interact with your teen. This will help your teen better understand and accept the grace God offers him or her.

Start with something.

You won’t always get this right. You won’t always know exactly what your teen needs and you won’t always be able to offer it when you do. But you can start somewhere. You can encourage rest by offering a break or a walk. You can show grace when you’d rather rant. You can listen when it feels easier to talk. This is not a checklist to complete, but a shift in how you interact with your teen.

Next steps

These ideas may be simple, but that doesn’t mean they are always easy. Teen-parent relationships are notorious for misunderstanding and disagreement. If you find that you and your teen are not connected in healthy ways, counseling is a good resource.

A Christian counselor in California can help you and your teen address what is happening in your relationship as well as guide you in implementing ideas like those above. Move toward a healthier, closer relationship with your teen by reaching out to California Christian Counseling today. We are here to support you.