6 Symptoms of Depression in Men and How to Help

While men and women can both suffer from depression, the differences in their symptoms may make it harder to recognize when men are suffering. Symptoms of depression in men can include some of the same ones that women have, such as sadness, weariness, and lack of motivation. However, other symptoms display themselves more readily in men than in women.

Women tend to be diagnosed at higher rates than men, but it could be because they’re easier to spot. Not all women are talkers or reveal their feelings to others, but many are. Women are more widely understood to have deep friendships where they confide in one another.

There are male relationships like this, too, but they’re not as prevalent as those among women. Whether it’s a lack of time on their part or a lack of investment and encouragement to nurture deep friendships, men may feel more alone in their symptoms. Therefore, they’re not as vulnerable about how they are doing.

Symptoms of Depression in Men

Men may begin spending more time away from what they enjoy

If a man in your life loves playing golf on the weekends or enjoys the same Tuesday night pickup basketball game every week, but then he starts skipping them, it could be a sign that something’s wrong.

Missing a few games is normal; everyone has busy seasons or times when life throws curveballs at you. However, if you or someone in your life consistently comes up with excuses to walk away from what has always brought joy, it may mean something is wrong.

Men start to get on everyone’s nerves in their immediate circle

If you or someone you know is starting to irritate everyone in their life, it might be time to ask how long it’s been happening.

Aggravation is one of the major symptoms of depression in men, but it’s easily masked as having a frustrating day at work or too much travel and not enough rest. But if you regularly experience irritability and anger at home, in the workplace, and among friends, you might be suffering from depression and not know it.

Western society teaches men that they’re supposed to stifle how they feel from an early age. Instead of sadness, this sometimes turns to anger that gets bottled up. Add to this a man who was raised to care for his family, do the right thing, and climb the corporate ladder, and you have a recipe for unrecognized feelings that could stem from depression.

Not feeling safe to let his guard down may be revealed by irritability. A man who is always on his best behavior and not free to say he is weary, disappointed, or angry is a man who could struggle with depression.

Various types of depression, such as persistent depressive disorder, seasonal affective disorder, minor depression, or major depression, are all possibilities. Additionally, psychotic depression is when a person sees images or hears voices that are dark in nature and coaxes them to believe things that are not true.

Men may cope through healthy or unhealthy mechanisms

If a man is usually a hard worker, he likely enjoys letting off steam sometimes. Perhaps having a beer or two after work with his friends is normal.

But when that beer continues into the late-night hours, interferes with his family life, or starts to become the only way he can face reality, it’s definitely an unhealthy way to cope with what could be depression.

Other symptoms of depression in men include coping mechanisms that may just look like healthy expressions of a hobby or a new pastime. If the man in your life starts using that healthy hobby as a means of escaping important responsibilities, or it throws his priorities out of line with what he values most in life, it could signal a problem. It might be a way for him to cope with emotions he isn’t sure about sharing.

Even simple things like watching television can be a warning sign. Watching movies is an easy way to unwind. But when watching movies takes the place of family time, connecting with one’s spouse, household responsibilities, or even self-care, it might be the most prominent symptom to watch for in your man’s life.

Men may have a loss of ambition, drive, or motivation

Most people lose motivation from time to time. You wake up on Saturday and don’t feel like cutting the grass even though you know you should. Or the obligatory Sunday night dinner with your extended family doesn’t sound fun this week. However, losing your ambition to work hard, set goals, achieve them, and take care of daily or weekly responsibilities is a sign that there might be something more going on.

Check in with yourself and ask how long it’s been since you were driven toward something – whether that’s a family goal, a career goal, or a personal goal. If you can’t remember the last time you had a desire to achieve something or make a change in an area of your life, it could be a wake-up call.

You’re a man who is experiencing pain or weariness over extended periods of time

Our bodies have a way of communicating when something is wrong, and pain isn’t always rooted in a physical issue. Pain signals that something isn’t working well, and it might be one of the symptoms of depression in men.

Headaches, nausea, neck pain, joint pain, or weariness for which there isn’t much relief are all symptoms to pay attention to and discuss with your doctor. A physician will need to rule out other possible causes before these can be linked to depression.

If you or someone you know has consistent pain, even though it may seem like an ordinary headache or sore muscles, it’s important to see a doctor.

Your hope for the future is gone

Our traditional views of depressed people may be that they can’t function, they stay in bed all day, or they gain a significant amount of weight due to overeating. While some might be true, these are not as common as movies and TV shows portray.

Many times, depression’s sneaky signals are hard to detect. If you or someone you love has trouble getting excited about what’s to come, it’s time to ask in-depth questions.

• When was the last time you were excited about something coming up?
• Who have you connected with in the last three months that made you feel hopeful?
• What are you looking forward to this week?

If that person can’t answer these questions, it might be time to refer him to a mental health provider. A doctor or counselor can listen to his medical history and determine if depression is a consideration.

What is depression?

Depression is a mood disorder where five or more symptoms must be present for a minimum of two weeks to receive a diagnosis. The two largest of those symptoms are depressed mood and loss of joy or pleasure.

Secondary symptoms of depression in men are also significant, though, and can provide information to the mental health provider to understand what type of treatment is involved. Secondary symptoms may include:

• physical ailments and pain
• changes in weight
• changes in sleep patterns
• lack of energy
• pervasive guilt
• reduced ability to concentrate

The six symptoms of depression in men are not the only symptoms. There may be others, but these are to help you gauge if someone should seek help.

How to Help Men Who May Be Depressed

Helping someone in your life understand that they may be exhibiting signs of depression can be tricky. It can be even more nuanced for symptoms of depression in men.

Men can easily ignore their bodies, emotions, and thought life if they tend toward workaholism, don’t feel comfortable sharing their struggles, or are simply too busy to take time for themselves. The first step we recommend is for you to help the man in your life slow down.

Slowing down can right a person’s course and help them pay attention to symptoms they may have missed. See if the man in your life will drop a weekly commitment and talk that night instead. Or take over the weekly carwash and yard-cutting service your spouse does. Not having a task to mask his feelings could help him realize what those feelings are.

The second recommendation is to ask the man in your life if he’s been turning to other things to cope with a problem at work or an issue he may not have identified yet. If he can recognize where he’s using something to cope rather than it simply being a hobby, the man may also take stock of his motivation, ambition, and energy level.

Finally, ensure the man in your life talks to a trained counselor about where he struggles or feels less than himself. Encourage him that even if these aren’t symptoms of depression, he can certainly benefit from talking to someone.

Remind him that it need not be a long-term relationship. Seeing a mental health professional like the ones in our offices can be the springboard for him to pay better attention to his overall health. Fill out the connect form on the website or call the office to learn more about helping someone with depression.