Truths About Forgiveness in the Bible

In a perfect world populated by perfect people, there would be no mistakes, no errors of judgment, no careless or thoughtless remarks, and no hurt inflicted by one person upon another, and verses about forgiveness in the Bible wouldn’t be necessary.

That’s not our world though. In the world we live in, people offend one another, sometimes unintentionally, but at other times deliberately, intending to wound. Husbands and wives, siblings, colleagues, friends, neighbors, and strangers live life with one another in a state of fragile peace.

When someone offends or hurts you, there are two ways of dealing with it. First, you can internalize the hurt and let it shape how your respond to and treat that person from here on out.

For example, if a colleague claims your idea as your own and gets the credit, it can shape how you relate to them in the future, such as in antagonism or cold indifference. The hurt of being robbed of recognition for your work shapes how you relate to that person, usually in negative ways. Perhaps you now look for opportunities to show them up, or you relish them making mistakes.

Second, you can choose to respond to that hurt by forgiving them, releasing your feelings of antipathy, and relinquishing the desire to get revenge or wishing ill on them. We are all bound to make mistakes, and we all find ourselves in the situation where we are at the receiving end of thoughtless/malicious actions, and we are faced with this choice to either forgive or sinfully cling to our anger and bitterness.

Forgiveness in the Bible.

We not only see the impact and nature of forgiveness in the Bible but what happens when we choose not to forgive. Throughout Scripture, we see real people in complex situations, and we can learn from the accounts of whether and how they forgave. Additionally, examples of forgiveness in the Bible exposes us to the radical forgiveness of God toward sinners, and we are called to imitate that radical forgiveness in our own lives.

Forgiveness breaks a cycle

There are many unhealthy paths we can choose to pursue when we get hurt by someone else. Lamech, one of Adam’s early descendants, was probably the first polygamist. He spoke a poem to his two wives, Adah, and Zillah, which goes like this:

Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, listen to me; wives of Lamech, hear my words. I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for injuring me. If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times.” – Genesis 4:23-24

In this poem, Lamech exults over the violent revenge he will take over any who attacks him, saying that he has killed a man for merely wounding him. He escalated the situation he was in, causing more harm to others than was caused to him. Lamech’s boast indicates an extreme example of what can happen if we refuse to forgive, rather than seeking to deescalate the situation. The cycle of violence is simply perpetuated.

In contrast to Lamech, we have David. He was unjustly pursued by King Saul, and Saul wanted to kill him without cause. David had to flee for his life, and he was forced to live on the run and in caves. On at least one occasion, Saul was vulnerable, and David could have killed him easily, as David’s men urged him to, but David refused to do so because, despite his many faults, Saul was still the one God had chosen and anointed as king.

David refusing to attack and kill Saul is an example of leaving vengeance to God. It’s important to remember that forgiveness is not the same thing as excusing what the person has done or that there shouldn’t be accountability for it. David chose to entrust himself to the Lord.

This is echoed in Romans 12:19-20: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

In his own time and way, the Lord dealt with Saul, and David became king without having to exact revenge on Saul.

Forgiveness can be radical.

We’ve already seen from the example of David and Saul that forgiveness in the Bible can be radical. It pushes against our instinct to get even. Letting go of what people have done to you and turning it over to God is a radical act.

Another radical example of this is what Jesus did on the cross. Have you ever tried to do something good for someone, only to have it thrown back in your face, with insults hurled at you to boot? Jesus was mocked while hanging on the cross for crimes he didn’t commit. Consider the following gospel accounts:

The people were standing around watching, but the leaders sneered at him, saying, “He saved others. Let him save himself if he really is the Christ sent from God, the chosen one.” The soldiers also mocked him. They came up to him, offering him sour wine and saying, “If you really are the king of the Jews, save yourself.” – Luke 23:35-37

Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross if you are the Son of God!” In the same way, the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders mocked him. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” In the same way, the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him. – Matthew 27:39-44

And yet we are told that Jesus’ response was “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). He prayed for those that persecuted him.

We all need forgiveness.

The main for the theme of forgiveness in the Bible is that we have all sinned against God. Although we often sin against other people, ultimately, every sin is against God because it is a breaking of His law. David reminds us of how God deals with us when he writes:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. – Psalm 103:8-14

We need forgiveness from God because of our many transgressions, and God is willing and able to forgive us, removing our sins and not counting them against us. While this is quite comforting, the story doesn’t end there with us merely receiving God’s forgiveness. The Apostle Paul challenges us to

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

Jesus warns us to forgive others as we have been forgiven:

If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6:14-15

If God through Jesus has forgiven us, then we will naturally become conduits of that same forgiveness toward others. Of course, we aren’t perfect and because of our sinfulness, we often struggle to forgive the way we should.

However, as Jesus says both here and in Matthew 18 (the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant) is that if, as John Piper has put it, it becomes our “settled position that we are not going to forgive, and we have no intention to forgive, and we intend to cherish the grudge and fondle the wrong that someone did to me and feel the bitterness,” then we demonstrate that we have neither understood nor received God’s forgiveness.

God’s forgiveness to us in all its liberality is meant to overflow toward others who have wronged us. We need forgiveness, and we also need to extend forgiveness toward others.

Next steps.

Struggling with forgiveness is common. Forgiving others from the heart is hard, and we need the Lord’s help to do it. Refusing to forgive, however, is not good for your mental, emotional, physical, (and especially) spiritual health, and if you need help to overcome your refusal to forgive, you should talk with a trusted spiritual advisor or a therapist who can help you work through any areas of unforgiveness in your life.