Parenting Help For When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Have you ever started something thinking it was going to be one thing, and then as you got on you found out that it was going to be something else entirely? It might have been a simple trip to the grocery store, a graduate degree you were supposed to finish in two years, or a relationship that started well enough, but something happened along the way, and it all went south. What do you do when things don’t go according to plan?

When it comes to parenting, we have a variety of hopes and expectations shaped by our own experiences of our parents and the influence of our role models. What we think will happen beforehand and what ends up happening after that child arrives in our lives may be a tale of stark contrasts. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, there is help available.

The Many Reasons Parents Get Overwhelmed

Being a parent is a joy, make no mistake about it. Having a front-row seat to the nurture of a child is an amazing adventure that’s hard to beat. Children learn so much from the people around them, and creating a fun, inviting, loving, and stimulating environment for that growth is a huge responsibility. As joyful as parenting can be, there are several reasons why one can get overwhelmed by it all.

Work is busy, and you are struggling with the work-life balance

Parenting is an involving and involved business. You may not have the time or capacity to be with your child as much as you want. After a long day at work, engaging meaningfully with the kids can feel out of reach.

Difficult issues

Being a parent often means troubleshooting and dealing with issues of various sorts. For instance, you may be dealing with issues relating to the kids that you’re struggling to resolve. These could be as diverse as health issues, discipline issues, or your child being bullied. The creativity, patience, and resilience required to handle it all can be a lot to manage without getting frayed at the edges.

Wrestling with yourself

Being a good parent can also include battling with your own issues and limitations, such as how childhood abandonment and emotional neglect can affect you by making it hard for you to respond appropriately to your child’s emotional needs. If you have health issues, or you’re sleeping poorly, that affects your capacity to be fully present for your kids and meet their needs well.

Lack of resources

If you’re under-resourced, that can put you under enormous pressure that can be overwhelming. Without adequate support such as childcare, or a support network to hold you up when you’re struggling, parenting can become a heavy load to carry. If you and your partner aren’t on the same page regarding parenting or going through relationship issues, that can also affect your ability to cope.

There are many other reasons why parenting, though beautiful, can become hard and overwhelming. It’s important to look out for signs that you are feeling overwhelmed and to seek help.

Some Signs That You’re Feeling Overwhelmed as a Parent

When you’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent, it will affect you in several ways. You may find yourself feeling like you have too little margin to enjoy and spend time with your kids. When the thought of being with your children makes you feel anxious, it’s possible you’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent. Similarly, if you find yourself being overly irritable with your children, one of the possible causes might be that you’re overwhelmed by it all.

In addition to these, if you’re losing sleep thinking about the kids and things that concern them, if feelings of guilt and shame, as well as hopelessness, dominate what you think of yourself as a parent, it’s possible that you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you are feeling fatigued and have a lack of energy when it comes to being with your kids, that too could point to you being overwhelmed.

With some of the signs highlighted above, it’s possible that other factors such as stress, depression, or a health condition affecting your thyroid could be at play in diminishing your well-being. It’s important to see a health professional to attend to these possibilities.

Overcoming Feeling Overwhelmed in Your Parenting

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, some things to take note of include the following:

Self-care is important

If you’re not well-rested or taking care of your stress through something like regular exercise, that can affect your ability to be present for your children. Implement a self-care regimen that includes going to sleep at a regular time, being physically active, eating a healthy and balanced diet, and making time to connect with other people.

You’re not alone

If you go online and visit parenting blogs, forums, groups on social media, and so on, you’ll soon realize that you aren’t in the parenting struggle by yourself. People are on different journeys, yes, but many parents struggle with one aspect of parenting or another.

Finding a community of like-minded parents who are at different stages of the parenting journey can be immensely helpful for encouragement as well as wise and practical parenting tips.

Take a breath and reflect

Parenting can be overwhelming and challenging for any number of reasons. Sometimes, it’s helpful to take a step back and consider what’s happening in your situation. Have you set appropriate expectations for your child? Those expectations need to be appropriate not only in terms of your child’s age and stage of development but also according to who they are as an individual.

We don’t like to be pigeonholed and treated as though we’re someone else, and our children likely feel the same way. Your child isn’t like their sibling, cousin, or next-door neighbor. Setting the right expectations and being intentional about meeting your child where they are, and not where you want them to be, goes a long way.

It’s also possible that you’re setting impossibly high expectations for yourself. In this, social media can be decidedly unhelpful. People’s curated reels, pictures, and stories can exert subtle (and overt) pressure to be just like them. The comparison game, whether online or with people around you, can lead to getting overwhelmed chasing a standard that might not be right for you.

Practice gratitude

When things aren’t working out, you can lose perspective and sight of the things that you can be thankful for. Sometimes, taking time at the end of each day to find things to thank the Lord concerning your children can help you find perspective and help you appreciate what you have.

Consider setting and maintaining clear boundaries

Parents need boundaries, for themselves as well as for their children. What constitutes appropriate behavior in your household is something you need to wisely consider, and then be consistent in implementing that standard and boundary. That implementation doesn’t need to be rigid, but consistency is key so that your child understands the clear link between actions and consequences.

Often, keeping things simple works best

You should prioritize the things you’d like for your kids to do and not do. One parent simplified the rules in their house to two things: use sunscreen lotion and be kind to each other. Maybe it’s okay for the house to be a bit messy if the kids treat each other with courtesy. You need to choose the battles you need to fight, otherwise you’ll run yourself ragged.

Give it time and give yourself grace

Anything worth doing, like parenting, is worth doing well. Anything worth doing well often takes time and a whole lot of trial and error. Your kids aren’t going to be perfect specimens of humanity; we’re all too affected by sin for that. But they can be decent human beings who have the tools to continue growing. Be compassionate with yourself and set realistic parenting goals.

Whatever parenting approach you try and implement to help you get a handle on things in your parenting, give it time to work. Change doesn’t always set in immediately, so don’t lose heart after a week and decide to switch things up again. That pattern causes constant frustration, and more than likely, exasperated children.

You can also find help through parenting classes or family counseling. A counselor can help you and your family to discern and align your values as a family, and help you develop strategies for better communication. Your counselor can also help you with cultivating effective coping strategies so that you can better handle the various stresses that accompany parenting. Contact us today to set up an appointment.