Finding Purpose in Life: Practical Tips

Knowing why you’re doing something can be just as important as what you’re doing. Finding purpose and a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment in a particular situation occurs if we have good reasons to be there. This can be at work, in a relationship, on the sports field, or in an awkward social situation. In daily life, we often ask ourselves why we should do something before we do it. The question “Why?” is thus such an important one on many levels.

Just as knowing the “why” of something is important in the small moments of our lives, it’s equally important when considering the bigger picture too. A person can ask themselves why they exist, and what their purpose is.

Being able to find purpose in your life makes a huge difference in your overall sense of well-being, and that includes sleeping better, being less stressed, having better cognitive function, having a more robust immune system, and living longer, too.

Struggles with Meaning and Purpose

The grand questions about human existence and finding purpose may not hit you every day. Most of us are content to just go with the flow and pursue the script that has been shaped by our family, friends, neighbors, and the surrounding culture. What typically happens is that there are moments in our lives when these questions intrude on us, insistently forcing their way into our lives and requiring something of a response.

Some of the moments that raise questions about purpose and meaning include those seasons of significant transitions and change. When a person gets married, loses their job, changes careers or retires, has a child, is bereaved and loses a loved one, gets separated or divorced, receives a serious health diagnosis, succeeds and achieves a cherished goal, faces the failure of a cherished goal, is betrayed by a loved one, or has a traumatic experience.

These various life experiences can precipitate a crisis in which questions of identity, what brings true happiness or fulfillment, and what truly matters in life are all brought to the forefront. Such crises can raise serious challenges to previously held values, leading to anxiety about the future and questions about finding meaning and purpose amid hurt, confusion, disappointment, or disorientation.

Going through these difficult times can be quite unsettling, especially if the situation undermines what one previously thought of as their life purpose. Such questioning can be hard but reevaluating goals and reorienting your life toward new and different goals can also be life-giving.

The Search for Meaning: Unhealthy Attempts

When a person has their sense of meaning and purpose disrupted, it can lead to difficulties such as anxiety, depression, feeling hopeless and not finding joy in things that were previously enjoyable. One doesn’t have the structure, roles, or sense of direction that having a clear purpose provides. This can be a good thing, but it’s also possible to launch a search for meaning in the wrong direction.

It’s possible that you can take the wrong lesson from an experience. Take for instance the breakdown of a romantic relationship. This can lead to a questioning of your purpose. One way to try and reestablish equilibrium is to pursue another romantic relationship.

Now it’s possible that moving away from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy one is a good thing. However, perhaps the deeper work should be about asking why one finds meaning and purpose in romantic relationships, and whether there is an issue of poor self-identity. We are relational creatures, and so our relationships do bring joy and deep satisfaction to our lives. This can, however, become distorted and become a codependent dynamic.

The overarching sense of purpose in your life should be rooted in something that can sustain you for a lifetime. This is why finding your purpose can be fraught with risk; you might place more weight on a value or object than it can carry. Your ultimate sense of purpose, which gets you out of bed in the morning, must be large enough and robust enough to sustain your life. Most things aren’t capable of such a feat.

The search for meaning and purpose can also end in despair or unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, engaging in risky behaviors, or unbridled anger.

Finding Purpose for the Long-Haul

As you try and seek your life purpose, recognize that it’s a journey that will likely have many twists and turns. It can get uncomfortable as you ask vitally important, but potentially disruptive questions, and rebuilding your values and sense of self can take time. Thus, having the right mindset and tools can make a huge difference.

Take your time

You don’t have to be in a rush to establish your big letter P purpose in life, or the smaller areas of purpose that flow from it. Take your time to ask questions, to try new things, and to be willing to fail. Be patient with yourself and the process and be compassionate with yourself.

Learn yourself

Take the time to learn about yourself, who you are, and what you’re excited about. Sometimes we can live our lives to make other people happy, and that can only take us so far.

Living for an audience of One is much easier than trying to please the multitudes. The Psalmist wrote, “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Psalm 16:11, NIV).

It can take time to understand how you tick and to see for yourself how the Lord’s way is best. Taking the time to journal can help you process your life experiences, helping you reflect meaningfully on the course of your life. Looking honestly over the course of your life can help you discern any wrong turns you may have made in pursuing your purpose and meaning.

Pay attention

Part of learning about yourself is paying attention, particularly to what you’re already doing. Take a look at your life and the shape it’s taken. What are the values that have been driving you, what are the goals you’ve been striving toward? What makes you happy, and what do you think would make you happy?

Sometimes you’re unconsciously following a purpose, and you have many hidden expectations about what you think life is like or ought to be. Paying attention to these things and gaining deeper insight into your own choices and what moved you to make those choices can help you become more aware of what your purpose is. Then begins the hard work of asking if what you’re pursuing makes sense for you or not.

Learn from others

You aren’t the first person to ponder about questions of purpose, meaning, and what you ought to be doing with your life. Others have walked the same path, and reading books or other resources by those others is helpful. Reading a book like Parker Palmer’s “Let Your Life Speak” could be a great way to explore questions of purpose and vocation.

Seek help

You don’t have to walk the journey toward renewed purpose and meaning by yourself. If reading books and interacting with resources that seem somewhat removed from you and your unique story doesn’t quite work for you, you can seek help in other quarters. You can make use of counseling or the services of a life coach.

A counselor can help you process the various thoughts and feelings behind your questioning or loss of purpose. Questioning or losing your sense of purpose can be disorienting, and a counselor can be a helpful guide who walks with you as you unpack what happened, how it affected you, and why it affected you that way. Your counselor can help you understand yourself and the situation you’re in better.

A life coach will help you create strategies to discover your gifts and ways to implement them effectively and in ways that are meaningful to you. Whether you work with a counselor or life coach, you can gain deeper insight into yourself and find ways to have meaning and purpose.

To schedule a risk-free appointment with one of the counselors, life coaches, or therapists at our location, call our office today.