Conflict Management Strategies for Managing Discord at Work or at Home

Whether on a personal or organizational level, some form of conflict is bound to happen, and although it cannot be avoided, it can be managed. Conflict management refers to the process of handling disputes and disagreements between two or more people fairly and constructively. The goal of conflict management strategies is to identify and handle disagreements in a way that promotes a positive outcome while minimizing any potential negative impact.

Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely vital. – Kenneth Kaye

Steps to Resolve Conflict

Let’s look at some steps to optimize the process.

Acknowledge the conflict

Don’t ignore conflict. It is important to address discord right away before ill feelings have a chance to build up and fester. Ignoring problems does not make them go away.

Clarify the issue

A key first step is to identify the root cause of the discord rather than make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Ask questions that enable you to clarify the problem, avoid misinterpretations, and help you understand where the other person is coming from.

Practice active listening

People you disagree with need to feel heard and validated. Listen to understand rather than to respond and identify points of agreement and disagreement.

Communicate clearly

Encourage open communication and speak openly, clearly, and constructively, using I-based statements when discussing feelings.

Avoid getting emotional

Separate the person from the problem and avoid taking the conflict personally. Stay calm and respectful and stick to facts and issues rather than make accusations or cast blame on the other party.

Find an acceptable solution

Identify a potential mutually satisfactory solution that enables you both to move forward in a healthy way.

Common Conflict Management Strategies

Not every dispute calls for the same response, and people tend to deal with conflict in different ways depending on factors such as the circumstances involved, whether the disagreement is over a minor or major issue, and whether they are dealing with discord in the family, at work, or with another individual.

The Thomas-Kilmann conflict management model breaks down conflict management strategies people tend to resort to when faced with conflict into the following five approaches.

An avoidance approach

Avoidance is when you ignore or withdraw from the conflict, perhaps because the thought of confrontation causes greater discomfort than the possible reward of reaching a resolution, or because you don’t think such resolution is likely. It is an unproductive way to handle a dispute because avoiding conflict does not fix anything, and unresolved disputes are only likely to get worse.

Avoidance may, however, be appropriate as a temporary measure if you need time to think things through or have more pressing issues that need to be dealt with first.

An accommodating approach

An accommodating approach, also known as smoothing, is when you resolve the conflict by foregoing your wants and needs and giving in to the wishes or demands of the other person. This approach does not resolve anything either, but it may be an appropriate option when faced with conflicts at work that are trivial, or when your relationship with the person you disagree with is more important to you than being right.

A collaborative approach

A collaborative approach is a win-win conflict management strategy that attempts to find a solution that meets the needs of everyone involved. All parties of the dispute come together and work out a resolution that everyone is willing to support and is beneficial to them all.

A competitive approach

A competitive approach, also known as forcing, is an assertive technique in which you firmly pursue your concerns and refuse to consider anyone else’s perspective. You put your wants and needs above those of the other person and keep pushing until you get your way.

This is not a good approach for group problem-solving because it presupposes that only one side can win and does not allow for the sharing of different points of view. It could, however, be appropriate when you have to stand up for your rights or moral values, a quick resolution is required, or you need to prevent a disastrous opposing decision from being made.

A compromising approach

A compromising approach is an attempt to find a middle-ground solution where everyone involved gets something they want or need, and the differences are split. In other words, everyone gives up a little of what they want, and no one gets everything they desire. This approach is perceived to be fair even if no one is completely happy with the resolution.

If you have questions about this article on conflict management strategies or are interested in learning how Christian counseling in California can help you with your particular situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at California Christian Counseling.