6 Signs of Anger Issues and What to Do About Them

When you watch a gorgeous sunset or see your child playing happily, you may feel peace or joy. If you argue with your colleague or hear of a tragedy on the news, your feelings are very different, and you might have signs of anger issues.

Everything we experience brings different emotions. These can be happiness, fear, sadness, anger, and so much more. Our emotions help to flesh out our existence and allow us to have rich and complex inner lives.

Not every emotion is an enjoyable one, but they all have their place in our lives. No one wants to be angry or sad, for example, but those emotions are fitting for the moments that elicit them.

If a loved one has passed away, sadness is one typical response, and it helps us register the enormity of what’s happened and to begin grieving the loss. Anger also has its place, moving us toward action when we experience or witness injustice, for example.

As with most things in life, maintaining a healthy balance is good. As such, having a well-rounded emotional life may mean that we shouldn’t have an all-pervasive sadness that unrelentingly permeates every facet of our lives. Nor should the feeling of happiness be so entrenched that events such as loss are met with a smile.

The same goes for anger. Never feeling angry about anything is worrying, and feeling angry all the time is problematic. How do you know if you have a problematic relationship with anger? This article hopes to explore some of the key signs of anger issues and what you can do about them.

Signs of anger issues

Being able to discern the signs of anger issues will help you address any problems before they derail your life. Some of the signs of anger issues include:

You’ve gotten into a blind rage and forgotten what you did. Anger triggers the same fight-or-flight response mechanism that allows us to fend off threats. Anger moves you from your resting state into a state of arousal fueled by adrenaline. This gets you ready for action to defend yourself against any threats, and this state of arousal can linger for a few hours or days, but that same lingering arousal that keeps you primed for action and more anger can interfere with the ability to clearly remember details of an angry outburst.

When arousal exceeds the optimum level, as what happens when you’re angry, it significantly decreases your ability to concentrate and makes it more difficult for new memories to be formed.

This is the reason it is difficult to clearly remember the details of really explosive arguments. If you find yourself getting so angry that you say and do things in anger that you don’t recall after the fact, you may have an anger issue.

You’ve landed in hot water with the law.

When anger is involved, a lot can go wrong. If you don’t control your anger, you could end up punching someone you disagree with at the ball game, destroying your boss’s office, or trashing your ex’s car.

Whether you feel justified in your anger and your subsequent actions you may wind up in jail or getting fined for your behavior. Some people have been banned from certain establishments because of their rowdy and otherwise unacceptable behavior when under the influence of anger.

Your loved ones are concerned about your anger.

The people around you tend to bear the brunt of your various behaviors. If you’re a generally happy person, your friends and family will likely find you enjoyable to be around. If your temper is out of control, the people closest to you will likely be the first to notice. Has anyone close to you approached you with concern about your temper? If so, that’s a strong sign that you may have anger issues.

You struggle to express your anger outwardly.

Like many other emotions, anger draws us toward expressing it. Anger, in particular, wants you to move, and all the physiological changes that anger brings about (faster heart rate, tense muscles, etc.) demand that you do something about the situation.

For a variety of reasons, people struggle to express their anger outwardly. For some, their upbringing taught that you never let your anger show because anger is a negative or horrible emotion. Experiences of unhealthy anger may convince others that it is best to keep silent when you’re feeling angry; they may be scared of what they’ll do if they let their anger out.

For still others, feelings of powerlessness mean that outward and obvious expressions of anger are out of the question. It is preferable to show anger in quieter ways such as through sarcasm, sulking, giving the silent treatment, or even self-harm.

Anger ought to be expressed in constructive ways. Struggles with expressing your anger and displeasure may show that you have underlying anger issues and an unhealthy relationship with anger.

Anger is where you live.

We are blessed to have many different emotions and experiences. Of course, we each have unique personalities, and some people tend toward the bubbly and optimistic while others are dour by nature.

Personality aside, you may have anger issues if you are angry most if not all the time. The dominance of anger in your life is an issue, as you should have room for other emotional experiences.

Anger has made a mess of your life and relationships.

If your anger is out of control, it has likely left a trail of relational carnage in its wake. When people are angry, they are prone to say and do things that they regret, whether that regret is instantaneous or later down the line.

Anger diminishes your capacity for empathy and moderation. If you allow it to take the lead, you can say and do hurtful things in the quest to defend or protect yourself from perceived or real threats.

The hurtful things people say and do have consequences, among them the breakdown of cherished friendships, professional collaborations, and even marriages. If anger has been a destructive force in your life, and has taken a toll on your relationships, it’s quite likely that you have anger issues.

Moving beyond anger

Anger issues affect your relationships, and they also affect your health. The long-term physical effects of uncontrolled anger include increased anxiety and high blood pressure. Anger weakens your immune system, increasing your risk of heart disease, and it also increases your risk of stroke.

One study indicated a three times higher risk of having a stroke from a blood clot in the brain or bleeding within the brain during the two hours following an angry outburst. For individuals with an aneurysm in one of the brain’s arteries, there was a six times higher risk of rupturing this aneurysm following an angry outburst.

Moving beyond anger issues requires lifestyle changes as well as changes in the ways one thinks and behaves regarding anger. Helpful lifestyle changes that can bring a positive experience with anger are:

Good sleep. Sleep is a huge help with emotional regulation. When our minds and bodies are rested, we are more adept at picking up emotional cues in conversation, and we have a better capacity to deal with frustrations and upset expectations. Improving your sleep hygiene will help you get consistent sleep.

Regular exercise. Exercise helps deal with stress and give you an outlet for pent-up feelings of anger.

Anger Management Counseling

In addition to these changes, reorienting how one thinks of anger will also help change the relationship to anger. This can be done with counseling. Among the therapies available is cognitive restructuring which helps one see anger in a positive light and moves one toward healthier patterns of thought and behavior.

Anger management counseling will also help you learn conflict management and resolution skills so that anger is kept in check and problems don’t escalate. Your counselor can also help you learn relaxation techniques, good listening skills, and helpful ways of dealing with anger such as knowing your anger triggers and heading anger off before it sets in. Your counselor can take you through exercises to help you constructively express anger.

Anger is an emotion that has a meaningful place in our lives. Dealing with anger appropriately can help us maintain healthy boundaries and be a force for positive action in our lives. If your relationship with anger isn’t healthy, there are many effective treatments available for anger issues.

Reach out to a Christian counselor today to find out about anger issues, what may cause them, and the counseling available to help you bring your anger under control.