12 Self-Development Principles for Men

Working hard to be the change that you want to see in the world is a difficult but worthwhile goal. Self-development is an encouraging way to look out for, notice, and celebrate positive ways to improve our lives slowly and consistently. This responsibility is unending and life-changing.

Do you remember a time when you were practicing a sport to get better at it so that hopefully, one day, you could be the best? Self-development is similar yet its rewards are not only limited to one narrow skill set that you own, rather everyone around you benefits from being exposed to the better version of yourself.

12 Self-Development Principles for Men

Here are twelve principles of self-development for men that will start with you but soon overflow into the lives of everyone around you, including your wife, children, work environment, and in every area where you are involved.

Leadership

Firstly, recognize that you are a leader no matter what your position. Leadership has many definitions and facets to it. Read through these points and ask if you have ever played one or more of these roles and to what degree: create emotional bonds and harmony, build consensus through participation, expect excellence and self-direction and develop people for the future.

In understanding this, acknowledge that your purpose is greater than your circumstances, your work, and your actions.

Abiding

By spending regular time with Jesus each day, you have the opportunity to transform yourself and your character. This was observed in Acts 4v13 (ESV): “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.” Being changed through your exposure to Jesus is only done through abiding with him.

John 15 v 1-5 (ESV) explains it this way, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

It is key for you as a leader to abide with Jesus so that you can bear much fruit. Remember, that apart from Him we are not able to bear any fruit.

Accountability

Holding those we lead to account is sometimes difficult, however, all leaders need to know how to speak the truth in love. In every circumstance where you lead, it will likely be through regular individual check-ins to know where those who look to you for leadership are in their heads and their hearts.

Then it is the responsibility of a leader to love them enough to tell them the truth about their performance. As you are in prayer for the people you have some influence over, remember that by “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,” reads Ephesians 4:15 (ESV).

In the same way, you should be available to hear from others whom you trust the truth that is on their hearts for you as they hold you in prayer and reflect on your own words, thoughts, and deeds.

Calling

The Bible makes it clear that we each have a calling our on lives. Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV), says “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” This calling is to live in a way that pleases God, at work, at home, and within your community.

When it comes to work and our role as a leader, it is comforting to know that work is something we all experience. Work is mentioned hundreds of times throughout the Bible, including right at the beginning of the creation account.

The word work ties in with our calling well as it was originally translated from the Hebrew word avodah, meaning work, service, and worship simultaneously – used first during Genesis 2 where God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work it.

In a work context, our calling is often to do the work and keep an attitude of service and worship by doing it as if we were working for the Lord.

Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV), says: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

The Bible also makes it clear that the Lord establishes those with authority. As such, it is important to remember that God called you to work, placed you in a position of influence, and wants you to shine for him.

Core purpose

Have you investigated your core purpose, or the purpose of your family, and the team at work? It is important to understand your greater purpose, especially at work where you will be under pressure to mistake your purpose with your ability to make money.

Core values

There are a variety of ways to determine your core values as a family or a team at work. One way is to identify the characteristics of your family or colleagues that align with Scripture and extrapolate these so that they are clearly understood, universally celebrated, and become a standard against which life at home and work are measured.

Courage

Every leader must have courage. In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” It is important to follow God’s leading no matter how difficult it seems to be.

Generosity

As a man pursuing self-development, generosity is a key characteristic. Generosity is an immensely powerful tool to transform not just your own attitude toward others, but to create a harmonious, joyful environment.

Like any habit, generosity can be learned so consider these pointers to set you on your way: consider the benefits of generosity, list gratitude daily, start with very small gifts, when paid give before spending anything, pick an expense that could be fun to give up and divert it to a cause, spend time with people in need, learn from generous people, intentionally decide to own less.

Love

The Bible is quite clear that love is to be the foundation of our lives. 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV) says, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” This is particularly true at work where we will have the chance to show the love of Jesus to people very different from us, and trust that the Holy Spirit will help them see that God loves them so much.

Obedience

Similar to recognizing that God is the boss and that we cannot lead by being greedy or motivated by fear, we look to God’s word to learn how to be obedient, and then we do what God’s word says.

Relationships

Relationships are key to being in a position where the truth can be spoken in love, and where you can hear it being spoken to you in return. Relationships are formed through spending time with those whom you influence, and who influence you. Regular one-on-one time with people who are important to your work, your family, and other areas of influence is needed for a relationship to form and flourish.

Vulnerability

Putting yourself in a position where you can learn how to improve yourself often requires a close look at areas in your life where you are not perfect. Pride is not a useful character trait, especially when looking to transform and improve. Rather, being honest and vulnerable about what you are going through can greatly enhance your relationships. We must tell the truth to those around us, even if it is that we are experiencing struggle.

Christian counseling can accelerate self-development

If you want to bring a Christian perspective to your self-development, look through this list again, pick out three or four that you want to work on first, and come back for the rest at a later stage. If you’re looking for additional help with self-development beyond this article, then why not browse our online counselor directory or contact our office to schedule an appointment? We would be honored to walk with you on this journey.