Navigating the ABCs of Anger and Forgiveness

Many of us savor a plot twist when good triumphs over evil. The story undulates and unfolds, gripping us to our seats with hope and anticipation, despair and disbelief. As we engage in our favorite drama, suspense, or thriller, we are taken into all of the nuances of the character’s emotions and experiences, especially his anger and forgiveness.

The situation looks untenable, as it appears that the protagonist won’t recover from the wrongs thrust against him or her. Eventually, there is a moment when hope breaks through unexpectedly, bringing viewers and readers to a resolution, satisfied with closure, relieved that all worked out well, or delightedly better than expected.

If only our lives were as simple, mirroring the scripts we watch and read. When our own lives unravel the tales that narrate our pain, we don’t relish it with the same sense of adventure. While we advise the characters from the sidelines off-screen and off-script, we don’t savor our own plot twists as with fan fiction.

Our own lives set the stage for a real-life drama, where we experience the heights of human emotion paired with and punctuated by the depravity that sin has introduced. Our actions and reactions spin a tale in our personal world, where it is not quite as easy as we’d like to turn from the vices that threaten to take center stage, begging our attention and applause.

Accounting for anger’s expenses

We have daily opportunities to live this truth out when we are presented with the choices to navigate our own life script. More than any soap opera or reality-based program, our own lives present opportunities to act out, behave badly, and do what we never imagined possible for us. It does seem rather dramatic, but surprisingly, it isn’t so difficult to harden hearts full of unresolved hurt.

Debilitating pain may reside under layers where anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and hatred have amassed. God is intimidated by none of it, and much like that of the Biblical figures who preceded us, He longs to make us whole and make testimonies out of what sought to destroy us.

Anger and unforgiveness provoke weariness. They cause us to overanalyze and overreact, tormented by thoughts that drain instead of give life. Between the Holy Spirit and the counsel of an empathetic therapist, we can entertain questions that open us to receive the healing that has been awaiting our response. “What am I giving up by holding onto this? What am I surrendering in my present that is fueling my past instead of feeding my future?”

Forgiveness and your future

Instead of freeing us, unrighteous anger flows like lava, consuming what’s alive until it destroys everything in its path. It demands more attention, space, and time. Like a constrictor, it squeezes out godly devotion and suffocates the love that would otherwise resuscitate and revive us to life.

The Father wants to halt this trajectory and free us from the mental, emotional, and spiritual corrosion that revenge exacts from the inside. God’s prescription for this type of malady is potent enough to plumb and alleviate deep the trauma and the lingering soul wounds. Forgiveness severs the connection between us and the past’s ability to control our feelings and our future.

Your future needs you. Being awakened to the mind of Christ brings you forward into the present. Instead of keeping you incarcerated by negative thoughts and circumstances, the Holy Spirit desires to alter the quality and content of your thought life. The enemy knows the power of the mind, especially one continually submitted to the Word of God.

When the enemy keeps you cycling in narratives that replay anger, resentment, and bitterness, you become the poison you meditate on. When considering this, forgiveness is more than just a good idea; it is a God idea.

Your future requires creative energy to plan and partner with the Holy Spirit. Where are you funneling resentment into thoughts that perpetuate revenge fantasies? Rerouting creative energy into evil thoughts diverts the fuel needed for purpose-driven activities and assignments.

Your future needs you now. Instead of assigning today’s time to ruminate on the past, consider that you must live forward into the plan and purpose God designed from before the earth’s beginning.

Accepting forgiveness

When we make forgiveness our heart’s default setting, we pattern ourselves after Jesus, exhibiting the sacrifice and surrender that electrifies His Holy power and authority in our lives. The Holy Spirit does this from the outset at conversion and ongoing, through sanctification, making us more like Christ.

When we accept the gift of forgiveness, we receive redemption’s freedom from sin and its wounds. Furthermore, we take on the mind of Christ which enables us to love and live like our Savior, even when it comes to releasing the offense from those who wronged us.

While it may take some time for our feelings to adjust, forgiveness cuts us off from the need to bring about our restitution. We entrust what we cannot do to God’s capable hands when we invite the Holy Spirit to forgive through us. It is a miraculous work that takes place in the soul, but its evidence is brilliantly displayed throughout one’s life.

In this manner, forgiveness is an expression of self and soul care. Furthermore, forgiveness is an act of spiritual warfare that strengthens and arms us in ways that underscore the power and authority of the Almighty working in and through us (Philippians 2:13).

Boundaries and blurred lines

While we still set boundaries, maintain appropriately safe distances or communication, and set parameters for healthy interaction, we aren’t at war with people. When we recognize the enemy is a spiritual one, not a natural person, it helps us to shift our thinking and employ our arsenal for the spiritual stand (Ephesians 6:10-12).

He wants legal access to a heart that harbors hate and therefore isn’t completely surrendered to Christ. We plunder his ability to gain a foothold and develop a stronghold when we forgive. Forgiveness is a checkmate against our enemy that recovers the spoils of our peace and joy.

The real enemy partners with those who have done wrong in action or thought, showing up in those who harmed us or even in our choice to harbor unforgiveness. When we seek revenge instead of godly resolution, even for our thoughts and feelings, we glorify our sense of human justice. We turn our attention to making things right in our eyes instead of yielding ourselves wholly to the Lord and His decision.

Forgiveness sets up a supernatural barrier that washes, protects, and preserves our hearts in love. That way we don’t subject ourselves to revenge fantasies, hatred, and the evil that unresolved anger and unforgiveness perpetuate in our spirits, souls, and bodies.

Casting our burdens on Christ

When we cast the burden of offense, anger, and injustice on Jesus, we acknowledge His Sovereignty and acknowledge His Lordship. God knows how to vindicate without vindictiveness. His mercy knows how to produce soul contrition or brokenness in hearts without our meddlesome attempts to manipulate. It is a matter of faith and surrender, but ultimately, love.

Do we love the Lord enough to allow Him to care for us? Do we trust Him enough to let that love show up in our faith and willingness to hand our conditions and consequences over to Him?

None of this is easy. Let’s remember, it wasn’t easy for the Father to watch Jesus suffocate and hemorrhage, impaled on a Cross and pinned by the weight of the world’s sin. Why else would the Messiah have cried out in a sense of feeling forsaken by the same Father who sent Him on a mission to redeem many sons and daughters (Mark 15:31)?

That same Savior breathed his last and died after mocking trials and torture, taking on the penalty of the guilty. He absorbed it all, for everyone. His broken, yet resurrected Body, emptied of its life Blood, atoned for the sin and raised us in power and authority with Him.

Next steps for addressing anger and forgiveness

If anger and unforgiveness have held you captive to a place in the past, you can make changes now. You can shift course with the right support and safe space. Seek and schedule with a counselor on this site to resolve the hurt in your heart. While it may take some time, it is worth beginning with the basics, navigating the ABCs of healing anger and unforgiveness.