What to Expect During Christian Family Counseling

Christian family counseling is a form of therapy that integrates biblical principles with secular clinical interventions. It is family counseling through a biblical lens.

A Christian family counselor uses similar techniques to those used in traditional family counseling, but also incorporates prayer and references to passages in the Bible. This can help you and your family identify and address behaviors that are contrary to what God’s Word says they should be and that prevent you from experiencing the very best that He intends for your family.

Just as a sailor’s fate depends on knowing that the bulk of an iceberg is under the water, so a family’s fate depends on understanding the feelings and needs that lie beneath everyday family events.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

– Virginia Satir (American psychotherapist recognized for her pioneering work in the field of family reconstruction therapy)

How do Christian and secular family counseling differ?

Both Christian and secular family counselors acknowledge the interconnectedness of family members and the need to address the family as a unit rather than focus on just the dysfunctional individual’s issues or needs.

What the one person is experiencing affects how he or she relates to and interacts with the rest of the family and alters the dynamics of the whole family unit. For therapy to be most successful, all family members, including children, need to participate.

The main difference between secular and Christian family counseling is that Christian family counselors look to God as the ultimate authority and use the principles in His Word (the Bible) as a foundation for addressing mental health issues.

They also believe in the importance of addressing the heart. The Bible says the heart “is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9, ESV). True life change can only come about when there is a change of heart.

Benefits of Christian family counseling

It addresses the whole person. Christian family counseling addresses the whole person, including his or her spiritual needs. Studies have found that adding this spiritual dimension to conventional therapeutic techniques is correlated with increased feelings of gratitude, optimism, and hope, as well as a greater sense of mental and spiritual well-being among family members.

It is a redemptive process. Christian family counseling is a grace-filled, redemptive process that brings the family into a closer relationship with each other and with God, who is the ultimate source of all healing.

It teaches family members how to overcome obstacles together. A Christian family counselor helps family members identify their challenges through the perspective of Biblical truths rather than by the dictates of their hearts, and shows them how to work together using Bible-based principles to overcome their obstacles in a supportive, nurturing way.

Issues and concerns it can help with

• Determining family roles, rules, and goals when both parents are not on the same page.
• Conflicts between parents and children.
• Troubled relationships among family members.
• A child who is strong-willed, rebellious, has a learning disability, and/or a physical or mental health issue.
• A fractured family.
• A crisis of faith.
• Difficulty living connected to God.
• Marital and/or financial problems that are causing stress and conflict.
• Impact of substance abuse, chronic health issues, or mental illness within the family.
• Communication problems.
• Blended family, step-parenting, or co-parenting issues.
• Sibling rivalry.
• Trauma and/or abuse.
• Setting boundaries and establishing priorities.
• Family transitions such as moving, career changes, or the death or loss of a loved one.
• Conflicting discipline and parenting styles.
• Addiction to electronics and social media.

What to expect during a session

Typically, all family members attend therapy together. Sessions take place in a safe, supportive, Christ-centered environment, and are conducted by a trained, unbiased, nonjudgmental family counselor.

At the first session, you will be asked to share what you feel the problem is, what impact it is having on each member of the family, and how you have been trying to handle it. The counselor will also cover topics such as your spiritual beliefs and practices, whether or not you pray together, and how you have made it through tough times in the past.

Once the specific challenges you are facing have been pinpointed, the counselor will help you explore your family’s structure and dynamics, as well as its strengths and weaknesses, to identify issues that may be contributing to conflict. Together, you will then set goals for what you would like to achieve.

During therapy, the counselor will teach you new ways of interacting with one another, how to communicate more effectively, equip you with the necessary skills to cope with problem issues more effectively, and help you apply the principles and truths laid forth in God’s Word (the Bible) to achieve the changes you desire to see in your lives.

Goals of Christian family counseling

• Grow and strengthen the family unit and help them work together to build better communication and connection.
• Provide constructive, loving ways to resolve conflict, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional bonds between family members.
• Encourage positive interactions between parents and children that enable them to better understand each other and communicate in a way that promotes respect and growth.
• Equip parents with tools for effective parenting and conflict resolution.
• Encourage and strengthen your faith and relationship with God, and achieve spiritual maturity.

What does the Bible say?

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. – Matthew 6:33, ESV

Stay grounded in Christ and make Him your number one priority. Model seeking Him first for encouragement and wisdom as a way of life for your children.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV

Teach your children how to make good choices as early as possible, before bad habits have a chance to be formed.

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. – Malachi 2:15, ESV

God commands a husband and wife to be faithful to each other and to model godly behavior to their children.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21, NIV

Family roles should complement each other and emotional needs be met. For a family unit to be strong, there must be real love and respect between husband and wife.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4, NIV

Proper guidelines need to be instilled within an atmosphere of love, not fear. Children need to learn how to think for themselves. Rigid boundaries can lead to anxiety, rebelliousness, and depression.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. – Deuteronomy 6:6-7, NIV

Parents need to follow the Lord’s commandments and teach them to their children.

If you have questions about this article on Christian Family Counseling and would like to set up an appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors in our online directory, please give us a call today.